Dear Stagnating Client: no one is coming to rescue you

Dear Stagnating Client,

I know what’s been going on.

After hours and hours of coaching sessions.

After months and years and MILLENNIA of work.

You haven’t really moved forward at all.

And it’s time to say: it’s not me. It’s you.

You’re not putting in as much time and effort as I am.

You’re not doing your homework.

You’re not taking the time to thoughtfully answer my questions.

You’re not preparing yourself for our sessions with dilemmas to be overcome and schemes to strategize.

You’re not doing the things you say you’re going to do, the things we both KNOW you need to do.

Every time it’s hard, it’s scary, it’s uncomfortable, you are finding a reason to simply not do it.

When faced with a difficult tussle with a problem, you would rather go watch tv, rearrange your closet, or cyber stalk people living the life you wish you had.

It’s not just that you are exhausting me. (You are.)

It’s that you are squandering your life. (Got your attention, did I?)

And I know why.

You are waiting to be rescued.

You want someone else to do the work for you.

And you think that someone is me.

It’s not.

I can listen and reflect you back to yourself.

I can offer you ideas and tell you stories to inspire you.

I can give you structure and accountability, tools and techniques.

And I can provide you with the support that every single person who has ever accomplished anything needs.

But, the most important part of the process is the work you do.

It’s those eureka moments you get when you have serious conversations with yourself. It’s what you learn when you take those scary steps towards what you want.

Working with a coach, just like taking a class, or being part of any process bigger than you, can feel like you are making progress just by showing up.

But you’re not. You’re really, REALLY not.

Just like your membership at that gym you’ve never been to is really NOT going to make your ass any smaller.

If you don’t put the time in, do the work FOR REAL, take those steps you know you need to take, you will not change anything.

I cannot do it for you, not even if I wanted to.

Any more than Roger Federer’s coach can tell him: you take the week off, I will work on your swing for you.

No one is coming to save you.

It’s all down to you.

Those who have the difficult conversations with themselves and do the things that scare them, they get a business that truly takes them where they’ve always wanted to go.

The rest, well, they continue to watch and wonder: how come she is SO LUCKY?

Yes, I know it’s hard.

I know, because I have been there.

Hell, I AM there every time I try something new and scary.

Every blog post, every attempt at putting together a new program can become an excellent reason to open some wine and re-watch the last season of Top Chef instead.

Dreaming and complaining is so much easier than doing.

And anyone who tells you that change is painless is LYING to you.

All those people having breakthroughs, living your fantasy life, the ones who make it look effortless? Guess what? It’s not.

I have worked with dazzling entrepreneurs who have had spectacular failures and extremely painful learning processes. Who have been so stressed and terrified by what they hoped to accomplish that they have actually made themselves sick.

And every single one of them fought their way through. Picked themselves up, labeled their failure a learning opportunity, stared down the bloated monster of overwhelm, and did the work they had been dreading.

And found themselves so much more powerful than they had ever imagined.

The difference between you and them?

They decided that they were worth the effort.

You have two options.

Stick with the dreaming and complaining, and get exactly the life you settle for.

Or bust your ass, risk yourself, and get exactly the life you deserve.

Your choice.

Join the doers and let the rest wonder how come you’re so lucky. I will fight hard for your dreams. If you will too. Find out how.


Wendy White - Messaging strategist for coaches & consultants

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